February is such a wonderful time of love and the Divine Feminine energy of wintering and resting. To be honest, I’ve been relishing in it.
It's also an invitation to stop and smell the roses, like, for real. I mean pause and take in the beauty around you, both literally and figuratively. It’s a chance to be good to yourself, allow others to be good to you, and most of all to love the parts of you, you tend to not. Remember that everything you experience begins with how you love you, first and foremost.
With that in mind, I made my own commitment this month to 30 days of yoga everyday. Along with that, I’ve been painting and writing myself in ways I feel called to. Not for anyone else. Not for approval. Not for social media. Just for me. Just to look at myself and say, I see you. I love you.
Along with potty training my son, I've been teaching our two-year-old to name his body parts. He gets a kick out of it and he loves to sing “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.” This is such a cute age, where everything is a new discovery. I love how his eyes light up as we play and sing his favorite songs. He tends to get carried away and likes to poke my eye or flick at my nose. We have fun making faces and dancing together. But recently, I noticed him staring at my nose with a squint of concern. The other day, his sweet little face grew serious. He stared at me for a long moment, tilting his head in deep concentration, as if trying to solve a puzzle only he could see.
At first, I laughed it off. But then, out of nowhere, I felt a weird little twinge, like an old bruise you forgot was there until someone poked at it. I knew it was ridiculous, and I knew he wasn’t thinking what I was thinking, but still old insecurities slipped in.
When I was younger, I was harshly teased about my "big" nose. Until then, I had never thought much about it. I remembered how the teasing took a toll on my self-esteem during adolescence. It was the first time I ever questioned my beauty. It was the first time I wondered if I was hideous, a thought that had never occurred to me before. Though it is now just a memory, I realize how it remained in how I perceived parts of my body, how I dressed, how I expressed myself, how I took pictures, even how I spoke.
And just like that, I remembered. Not just the teasing but also the way I subconsciously tried to minimize my nose in photos, how I avoided certain angles, how that childhood insecurity still lived somewhere inside me, even as a grown woman. I wouldn’t say that this made me not love myself, but I do notice that it affected my confidence for a long time. I’ve evolved since then, but somewhere in my habits and patterns, I still feel the need to shrink her down.
So I decided to write a love letter to her, called Ode de la Nose.
Because, I could feel that this part of me deserves to be honored and loved.
Even if she’s big and pronounced, my nose carries my lineage, my history. She is the gateway to my breath, my life force.
She settled me with the scent of my newborn baby as I held him in my arms for the first time.
She identifies the smell of rain or the seasons changing.
She let’s me know when a person’s vibe is off.
My nose is the link to my goddess, my essence, my magic.
Thicker than your average…she deserves roses.
Our nose, is our most primitive tool for intuition and survival, and maintains a sacred bridge between my phyiscal body and the unseen.
In Ancient Egypt, it was thought that this is where the soul enters and exits the body. It is suspected that this might be one of the many reasons why noses were intentionally destroyed or stolen from their statues and tombs.
An Interesting Article to learn more about that here —> Why Are the Noses Broken on So Many Ancient Egyptian Statues?
In a world that tends to place value on white/eurocentric features, loving our Black noses and skin tones are a resistance to erasure. Our features, once ridiculed and dismissed, are symbols of power, resilience, and divine design.
For centuries, Black women have been conditioned to shrink, and conform to an unattainable standard that was never meant to include us.
Our broad noses, full lips, and rich complexions hold the stories of our ancestors, the wisdom of a lineage that predates colonization and distortion.
The more we see ourselves through the eyes of our own divinity, and through goddesses like Oshun, Hathor, Yemaya, and Isis; the more we awaken to our truth. We are not just acceptable, we are sacred divine beings. Our features are not flaws to be corrected, but marks of distinction, evidence of the rich goddess energy flowing through us. And when we embrace that fully, our tones, our textures, our thickness, our essence, we don’t just shift our own perception, we shift the entire world.
The Nose, Knows What You Need
Your sense of smell can be 10,000 times more precise than all your other senses. Your nose works with your limbic brain, which impacts emotions. This is why, a fragrance, a beautiful scent is healing, whether from a flower, a perfume, or an essential oil.
Stopping to smell a rose can impact your health positively.
In the theme of honoring my nose, intentional scents have become another powerful part of this commitment. Scent activates memory, so I've been rendezvousing with new perfumes. I’ve been playing with my signature scent by trying new layers of essential oils, flower essences, and oils. I love finding new combinations and layering scents. It always helps to guide my energy and set the mood for whatever I want to embody.
At the end of the day, I knew my son was looking at me with nothing but loving curiosity. But, I felt a strong encouragement from within to become more aware of how I personify love. Because by loving all of me, I teach him how to love himself.
By showing up, acknowledging my full self, and embracing my form, I embody love. As an artist, a writer, a mother, a goddess in the flesh, it is my job to be uncompromising in my divine design.
Love is not a thing we achieve and set aside.
Self-love, love in general; it is a practice, a commitment, a vibration. A rhythm we return to again and again, like familiar words to a song, or a melody we can’t forget because our soul always remembers the tune. Some days, tapping in, tuning in, it feels effortless. Other days, it requires patience, presence, and deep breath. But every movement, every return to the love frequency, is a reminder that love is not a destination. It is the tune of your original song.
What are you singing to yourself these days?
I really hope that it is not the “I’m not good enough…”, “I’m to0…”, “I can’t…”, “I wish…”, “If only” songs looping in your head.
Because your harsh self-judgment, lack of self-love, insecurities, and creative blocks are energies that can reflect back to you in your experiences. When one is offbeat, the others are affected.
If you are creatively blocked (which is never truly the case, but rather a belief), it is often a sign to step back and notice how you are loving yourself.
When you glance at yourself in the mirror each day, what is the theme of your thoughts about yourself?
Where are you most in need of tenderness, care, and kindness?
This can be emotional needs, physical needs, or connection, but they are all centered around you.
There’s nothing you need to do, really, but be aware. A simple commitment to decided days of awareness. Even 10 minutes a day can shift, expand, and align you with a more harmonious energy that serves you well, creatively, romantically, and physically.
Take a deep breath in slowly and ask yourself honestly:
Where am I feeling doubtful about my expression—my beauty, my art, my perspective?
So if you’ve been reading my posts and thinking, I want to write but… (fill in the excuse/block)…, I invite you to do it anyway. Start your blog, post your notes, make your videos, record your podcast, show your art, build your own Substack, share your comments. Write your own love letters. Doodle yourself with love. Know that you are dope AF.
Find the parts of you that you’ve ignored or silenced and bring them into the light. And when you do, let me know. I would happily be your first subscriber, a supporter, a witness to your blooming.
Because this is not just about me, it’s about all the goddesses, gathering themselves and remembering, awakening, and embodying the goddess energy in her many forms.
Because when you are good to her (your goddess self) you can be good to others. And that is what we need now more than anything.
Goddesses in real life, in all fullness and forms.
If you need another nudge, please check out A Goddess Complex, free to read on Kindle.
Let’s continue the conversation in the chat!
Much love,
