Punished for Not Pretending
In Homage to My Fire Starter Aries Sister...
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My older sister and I have always been opposites. She’s fire and spice, bold, loud, and fearless; while I’m sweet water and ice, softer-spoken, more observant, stoic, and calm. Growing up, people would say we were like oil and water, fire and ice, day and night.
I remember the day my sister stood up to a boy in our neighborhood. He was the one everyone else (even the boys) was too scared to challenge. Even his own sister was afraid of him. He was tall, dark, rough around the edges, and carried himself like he had nothing to lose. He was a bad boy. He was always in and out of juvenile detention and ruled the block without saying much. People knew better than to cross him.
But that didn’t stop my sister.
She could be downright obscene, holding nothing back in the heat of conflict. There was no sugarcoating, no biting her tongue, no careful wording to ease the tension. If she felt it in her soul, she said it! Sharp, raw, and unfiltered. It wasn’t tactful, it was real. She got us in some shit sometimes, but honestly, sometimes it had to be done.
One summer, my sis and I were hanging out with his sister, when he said something slick, something out of line. And, she jumped off her bike right there in front of his house on his block and got straight in his face. No hesitation. No second-guessing. She didn’t care how big he was or what reputation he had. She let him have it.
I stood there frozen, proud but also heart pounding in my chest, convinced this was about to go bad real fast. I was preparing myself to jump in and have my sister’s back or something worse…
As he got really loud with her too and got in her face, my sister didn’t tremble nor fold. I thought he was going to hit her. But, I was shocked when a real big cheesy grin started to spread over his usual mean mug. Then, he threw his head back rolling laughing holding his belly, because her fiery had caught him off guard. Then I noticed a shimmer in his eye as he stood there gazing at my big sister. By the end of that summer, he had a full-blown crush on her — the kind of crush that made him ride his bike back and forth in front of your house just hoping she’d notice.
That was my sister, though. Gorgeous, fierce, and unshakable. She didn’t just stand her ground…she owned that shit.
Looking back, I realize that moment wasn’t just about a neighborhood spat. It was a lesson, and one I’d carry with me long after childhood.
She taught me that a woman who refuses to shrink is unforgettable. That standing firm, even when you’re shaking inside, demands respect.
But that fire wasn’t always welcomed. My sister was punished often for her outspokenness, for her audacity to go there with anyone even adults, no matter their title, role, or reputation. She refused to play nice when playing nice meant betraying herself. She was punished for refusing to smile when she was seething inside. For not pretending she was fine when she wasn’t. For calling things out when everyone else would rather look away.
I used to cringe at her bluntness, worried about how people would take it. Worried she was going to get us punished again. But looking back, I realize she wasn’t just being reckless, she was being free. While I sometimes stay silent or measured my words to avoid confrontation, she had no problem bulldozing through discomfort, demanding to be heard, even if it cost her her life.
Her defiance wasn’t just rebellion for the sake of it, I feel it was power in its rawest form. She knew how to draw the line, to say enough, and to fight for herself when no one else would.
And in her fire, she burned away the illusion that women must always be soft, agreeable, accommodating, and silent to be worthy of love, respect, or belonging.
I didn’t always understand her. Sometimes I resented her. But she taught me something I couldn’t have learned any other way. She showed me that sometimes you have to be willing to risk being misunderstood, disliked, or even punished to stand fully in your truth.
Your fire is sacred, it’s meant for your protection, your allure, and your freedom. It’s your primordial power. Everybody can’t handle that type of heat. And when the world tries to punish you for it, know this: your refusal to pretend is proof that your spirit is still your own.
Did I mention my sister is an Aries?
It seems she was crowned this way by the stars. Kissed by her sun sign. Aries is known to be bold, passionate, and impulsive.
She was born to blaze a trail and she definitely did.
Our relationship has never been easy. She knows how push my buttons like no one else. We thrive better with space between us, and our love feels strongest when time has softened our edges. And, we can miss each other. I didn’t always understand her. Sometimes I resented her and she felt similarly towards me. For years we didn’t speak. We have had many major fights, and disagreements. But I know now that her fire was never meant to burn me, but ignite something powerful within me.
I now see her through the eyes of Source, for what she truly is. She is raw, untamed goddess energy in the flesh. The kind that refuses to be silenced. The kind that fights for freedom at all costs. Her defiance wasn’t just rebellion for the sake of it, it was power in its rawest form. She knew how to draw the line, to say enough, and to fight for herself when no one else would.
She didn’t just teach me to speak up. She taught me to take up space and take no one’s shit. To defend my boundaries. To rebel and refuse when circumstances attempt to break my spirit. She showed me that being the “good girl” is rather boring and also just another way to betray your power.
She’s fire to my calm, and storm to my stillness. But what I once saw as conflict, I now see as impact. She didn’t just challenge me; she awakened me.
For every woman who’s ever been punished for her boldness, for her refusal to pretend, for her unwillingness to shrink, this is for you.
You are the impact that many will try to hold back.
Your fire is sacred. Your voice is power.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is refuse.
Refuse to live in a false reality that won’t let you evolve, enjoy, or experience what you know you are worth as a woman, a goddess in the flesh.
In this week’s subscriber chat, we’re getting real… no sugarcoating, no shrinking, no apologies.
We're talking about holding back our immense divine feminine power. This inner power we’ve been conditioned to suppress.
Why do we do it? And more importantly… what would happen if we didn’t?
Some of us are tamed by fear, shame, or punishment. We’ve learned that if we don’t soften our words if we don’t swallow our anger, if we don’t smile instead of scowl, we might just tear this whole thing down.
But what if that’s exactly what needs to happen?
Because when we suppress our power, our truth, our instincts, our fire…we shrink ourselves. We dull our magic. We silence the force within us that was meant to disrupt, dismantle, and rebuild.
Let’s get to the root of it.
As goddesses on this path, we may seem detached at times. This is not out of arrogance, but because we are unmoved and unimpressed by the noise of the human condition. Our standards are higher, our awareness deeper, and our hearts are devoted to something greater.
Even when life is good, and when we’re thriving, finding success, and feeling fulfilled in our own experience, we still sense that something isn’t right in the world. We can feel the disharmony, each other’s pain, and discomforts. But, we keep our focus on the bigger vision.
We know that our prosperity isn’t just for us. It’s for our daughters, our grandmothers, our ancestors, and the women yet to come. A rising tide lifts all boats, so when a woman rises in her power, she changes everything.
Women with money and influence? We build legacies. We uplift our communities. We open doors for others. We become the ones who hire, teach, and create.
We birth. We serve. We nurture. We regenerate.
We are walking portals and channels of life itself. Yet, we’ve been told to play small, to “be nice,” to smile politely while we’re searing inside.
But not anymore.
It’s time to remember what happens when a woman stops taming herself.
When she speaks her truth without apology.
When she trusts her instincts without hesitation.
When she follows her desires without shame.
Because when a firey woman awakens fully into her goddess power, she doesn’t just destroy, she creates. As she clears space for something better, something stronger can stand in its place.
So this week, I’m inviting you to journal with me and ask yourself these questions:
What’s one part of you, soft or strong, that you’re finally ready to stop apologizing for?
Where have you been shrinking yourself to make others comfortable?
What would happen if you just stopped caring?
Your prosperity, your voice, your creativity, it’s not just for you.
It’s for your whole matriarchal line that stands behind you. It’s for the daughters yet to come who will walk the path you’re clearing now.
If you’re ready to stop playing small and embrace your divine feminine power without apology, I encourage you to explore my book, A Goddess Complex — free to read on Kindle Unlimited.
It’s time to take up space. It’s time to trust your instincts. It’s time to stop holding back what was always meant to be seen, heard, and felt.
You were never meant to stay small.
Rise, goddess. Rise.
A Goddess Complex by Isa Orr is FREE on Kindle Unlimited.
Click here to grab your copy now.
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This is a space to shed the performance, speak your truth, and align with those who truly get it. I can’t wait to connect with you there.